Anticipating my Arrest

I’ve just finished the first draft of my second novel and happily sent it off to my lovely beta readers, so I’m feeling a bit frivolous and in the mood for some light-heartedness.

A recent occurrence led me to think about my Internet browsing history during the course of writing the novel. It makes for some pretty disturbing reading:

  • Drug abuse
  • Machetes
  • Guns
  • Bullet wounds
  • Gang culture
  • Drug skimming
  • Law enforcement
  • Dog attacks

And that’s just in the last few weeks.

The occurrence that led me to think about my Internet browsing history was something as innocuous as searching online wool shops. (Yes, despite the graphic nature of my novels I’m actually quite Knittingboring and mainstream in real life). Within a few hours of searching the wool shops, I was seeing advertisements for wool on Facebook and other social media sites. I was flabbergasted at how they had managed to get hold of this information. If advertisers can cash in on your browsing history so easily then the possibilities for the police are endless.

At this point I want to add that as well as carrying out online research I also have “brainstorming sessions”. Most of these occur while I’m at my computer and usually entail me sitting at my desk talking to myself. Then, to capture certain scenarios I sometimes mime my character’s actions just to check whether it would work in practice, and to make sure it would be realistic. Sometimes it’s necessary to use a mirror so that I can study the positioning of limbs, facial expressions etc. It’s all in the name of my art, you understand, and has nothing whatsoever to do with being slightly eccentric.

Simple-Teddy-Bear-1-5496-largeSo, I’m picturing the scene. The police have had a tip-off from their technical team about a dodgy browsing history so they start monitoring the house. One of the officers spots someone carrying out what appears to be a frenzied knife attack but when he zooms in the perpetrator is attacking a teddy bear with a biro pen. He calls for support. When the two officers arrive they approach the house with caution and creep up to the window. There they spot a middle aged woman sitting at her desk having an in-depth conversation. After a few seconds the conversation becomes heated and she seems to be taking on the roles of two different characters.

Ooh dear, how would I explain that one? Maybe this home working isn’t such a good idea. While writing the plot, I’m also losing the plot!

Is it just me or do other authors find themselves acting out scenes and talking to themselves while they work? I’d love to hear your views on this one. Talk to me please; my sanity depends on it! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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