adverbs | Heather Burnside Author

At the moment I am immersed in the final edits for my debut novel “Slur” and I am using some editing software that an author friend recommended. I have found the software particularly useful so I thought that I would share my findings. The software that I am using is called Prowritingaid. I haven’t used any other editing software so I can’t comment on other products but this specific product offers a number of features.

The main problem that I wanted to address is that I suffer from adverbitis. By that I mean that I have a tendency to overuse adverbs. I also default into using the passive at times when it would be better to use the active especially for a crime thriller, which should be fast paced. I think this is probably down to the fact that I am used to proofreading student theses, which are written in a formal style in accordance with university requirements and therefore use the passive rather than the active. Unfortunately, if you are used to working in a particular style then it can become hard to break the habit. I therefore invested in Prowritingaid at my friend’s recommendation.

You can choose from six main styles of Creative, Academic, Business, General, Technical and Web Copy. Once you have set your preferred style you can then choose what you want to check for. I chose Writing Style Report, which flags up adverbs and use of the passive but you can also run a full analysis or various other checks such as repetition, overused words, consistency, plagiarism etc. depending on the writing style you are aiming for. In fact, there are a total of 23 different types of reports/checks to choose from.

Prowritingaid makes it easier than editing your work yourself because when you are working so close to your work you can fail to notice things. The software pinpoints instances in embarrassing, brilliant highlighting so you can’t fail to notice them, and at $35 per year it’s substantially cheaper than hiring an editor. It also means that you retain control over your work. I must admit that I cringed at the number of times I used ‘quickly’, ‘forcefully’, ‘really’, ‘slowly’ and ‘quietly’. I had also used more powerful adverbs such as ‘maliciously’ and ‘subconsciously’, which can make an impact if used sparingly, but overuse lessens their impact so a good trim was necessary to improve the quality of my work.

Another good thing about this software is that you can upload a sample of your work to the site to trial it before buying. Here’s the link if you want to give it a whirl: http://prowritingaid.com/. I’d like to add that I’m not being paid by the suppliers to write this blog post. I just wanted to share this useful discovery.

I came across something else of interest in the book that I am reading, called “Writing a Novel” by Nigel Watts. In the chapter on style he cautions writers to beware of overusing adjectives and adverbs. One of the exercises at the end of the chapter is to write a descriptive passage without using them. In fact, he also encourages the reader to leave out abstract nouns, which is a point that I don’t necessarily agree with per my comments below.

I found this particular topic interesting in terms of the effects that you can achieve without having to use adjectives and adverbs. Nevertheless, I am not advocating that we leave them out altogether, but it’s amazing how descriptive verbs can be. Nigel Watts suggests looking at the work of authors you admire to see how they deal with certain situations. As I was reading a Val McDermid book at the time, and she is one of my favourite crime authors, I had a look. To my amazement she had managed to write an entire descriptive scene and hardly used any adjectives at all – remarkable!

Unfortunately, due to copyright laws I am unable to quote the passage from Val McDermid’s book. However, it’s easy to compare contemporary writers to those of a bygone era who used a lot of adjectives and adverbs. In fact, my personal feeling is that adjectives and adverbs have their uses, but authors such as Dickens overused them, and I much prefer contemporary writing styles. Here is an excerpt from David Copperfield:

“My aunt was a tall, hard-featured lady, but by no means ill-looking. There was an inflexibility in her face, in her voice, in her gait and carriage, amply sufficient to account for the effect she had made upon a gentle creature like my mother; but her features were rather handsome than otherwise, though unbending and austere. I particularly noticed she had a very quick, bright eye. Her hair, which was grey, was arranged in two plain divisions, under what I believe would be called a mob-cap; I mean a cap, much more common then than now, with side-pieces fastening under the chin. Her dress was of a lavender colour, and perfectly neat; but scantily made, as if she desired to be as little encumbered as possible.”

Try comparing that passage to one from a book by one of today’s popular authors and you’ll probably see a vast difference in the number of adjectives and adverbs used.

Instead, verbs can be used to great effect. One example the author used is walking, which can be described as: shuffling, creeping, stepping, pacing, striding, dawdling etc. Each of these creates a different image in the reader’s mind. Another example relates to the various verbs used to describe eating: chew, gulp, devour, swallow, bite, consume, nibble, crunch etc. Again, each one paints a different picture in the reader’s imagination. ‘Devour’ for me brings to mind someone who is aggressive in their behaviour and attacks their food as though it is the enemy. ‘Nibble’ on the other hand, makes me think of someone who is nervous, reserved or picky.

I think that we can achieve similar effects with our choice of nouns or abstract nouns, for example, a stench is much more offensive than a smell whilst an aroma is more appealing. Having said that, the author of the aforementioned book also cautions against the use of abstract nouns because they are imprecise whereas if you describe a scene by painting a picture in the reader’s mind, it is more definite. The example, he gives is when describing the ‘devastation’ caused by a storm. The reason that the abstract noun ‘devastation’ is imprecise is because people interpret it in different ways. So, instead of using this abstract noun, you could describe the damage caused by the storm, which would paint a clearer picture in the mind of the reader. For example, you could describe the wind tearing the branches from trees.

This is just another idea that will stay in the back of my mind whilst I’m writing fiction. Hopefully it will help to improve the way I write. I would love to read your thoughts on the excessive use of adjectives and adverbs.